Thursday, 21 February 2013

I like you so much better when you're naked.

Say what you have to say.

The number one rule about getting into a relationship with someone is giving them their due respect. Respect (and expect) their loyalty, respect their boundaries, respect their opinions and respect their decisions.
Keep your hands clean, your thoughts cleaner, and your wounds covered.
The second rule of a relationship is when you start finding rule number one, too restrictive (and being as nosy as we are, we are bound to), stop right there. Because while loyalties and respect are right in their own places. I have a massive issue with prolonged barriers people set up claiming to shield themselves from emotional blows aimed at them in their vulnerable state.
In my opinion, setting up defenses, building boundaries and  erecting walls around your head to filter people out is a bullshit idea. Yes, BULLSHIT.
Because sometimes your partner needs you to intervene and save them before they're too far gone. Whether they know it or not.
It feels cruel and against common sense at first, but it works.
Sure, you could always argue that after bringing your guard down something might whirl in to hurt you, leave you wounded and scarred all over again but hey, that's that whole point of life. You learn. You get wiser. And you learn to fend for yourself and not repeat your mistakes.
You can't keep burying things inside, you cant keep running from the world and building walls to keep people out. Unless of course you want to wind up alone, old, in a room full of cats. Then, yeah. Go ahead and knock yourself out.
Picture a garden. Lush. Green. Now, picture your mind as that garden- Full of whispers and the scurry of ghosts. Trecherous vines glisten with sparkling dew drops as they curl themselves around you with invisible cords, cutting into your skin and sucking the trust out of you. On the outskirts ancient walls, streaked with moss, buldging with supressed memories like a dam nudging you impatiently, waiting for your permission to burst.
Isn't it easier to just let yourself flow? To not worry about the consequences of evrey little action you make? To not disect every situation and contemplate on its inevitable results?
To unentangle yourself from that choking vine?

Strip off your insecurities.Shed your fierce defenses. Stay emotionally naked, not with everyone, but with people you trust.
You're so much more attractive that way.

The healing process begins with simple words, an effort, the tearing down of long guarded walls. You have to expose every little shadow of negativity to a world of probabilities and fresh beginnings.
You risk exposure for the sake of healing, and when it's over, once the long caged demons have been freed, trust me love, you'll thank me.

- A rather pissed off Tangledtofu.


Rahil Ansari said...

Ah, touche.
Girlfriends (and a boyfriend or an ex, in your case perhaps?) pretend to be really "deep" and "mysterious" by keeping things to themselves.
5 out of 10 times, its just a facade. So, you've been warned.But then again, you knew that already, didn't you?

Coming to you, discovering new facets of your complex being is always a pleasure. Your new work is refreshing. Your anger is intoxicating. Keep 'em coming!

Anonymous said...

I'd go with an about-to-be-boyfriend. Yes, Tofu, I know. Because guess what? I'm so much more attractive that way.
Nice post, by the way. Such an eye-opener. :P

Nasir Nawaaz said...

Oh. I probably shouldn't mess with you then. 'Cause I'm one of those people. But sometimes I wish someone climbed over those walls and instead of rescuing me, saw what a beautiful world lies on the inside..

Oh, and one more thing. BURN.

Tangled Tofu said...

Thank you Rahil. You flatter me way to much for my own good. :)

I agree with you partially, but I'm pretty sure the insecurities are genuine in my case. Thank you, though. You're insightful. Like always.

Tangled Tofu said...

Lol. Why would I?

And if you want people to climb walls that shouldn't be there in the first place, here's a suggestion-
Why don't you let them? :)

Oh and one more thing. FAIL.

Tangled Tofu said...

It was meant to be one.
And ah, so it's still about-to-be-boyfriend? I was curious whether this blog post would alter anything.
And yes, you ARE so much more attractive that way.

That Kapoor boy. said...

Theez eez magnifique!
Sorry, current French accent obsession.
Really well written. And very relate-able. We all have that one friend who's a hermit crab. And well, if we don't, we're the hermit crab.
You sound funny when you're pissed. Cute-funny.
And I sense vitriol in the comments, so I shall quietly slink away.

*Tips hat*

Tangled Tofu said...

Salut, Mr. Kapoor.. :)
Totally understandable. It's an intoxicating language, isn't it?

And, thank you. As pleased as I am, I can assure you that I'm definitely not a very pleasant sight when my wrath surpasses that of all the 330 million deities of our country.
Yep. I'm that bad.

Haha, you have nothing to worry about. I'm nice to people who never fail to praise everything I do. :P
You have a good one too!

That Kapoor boy. said...

It is, it is, jolie fille.
Haha, I like how you try to scare guys away. But well, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Put something new up soon!

Talitha said...

Pissed-off moods are my new best friend. I'm drowning in piss.And it ain't good for writing I'll tell ya.
And for once I'm going to have to say nay.Because sometimes those walls are a good thing.And letting them down only invites more hurt.
And this ain't no fa├žade I assure you.
I tend to piss pissed off people even further,and that's a lot of piss for one person.
I need to stop. Sowie gal.

Tangled Tofu said...

Aw, I know, I know. Been there.
Sure, you're right. But do you really think keeping your guard up all the time and fending off everyone who's trying to help you, a good idea? I think keeping things bottled up inside is unhealthy.
It makes you feel secure. Cocooned. But it ends up leaving you terribly lonely in the long run. And I'm speaking from experience.
But, hey. That's just my opinion.
True strength lies in getting up. Dusting yourself off. And moving forward. No matter what.

And Talitha, don't dwell on the past okay? It makes you vulnerable. And I know you have the mental strength, to rise above that. If you ever want to vent, you know where to find me. :*

Raj Chawla said...

I'm your guy, aren't I?
Damn it dude. You hurt my feelings.

But no seriously. I both, agree and disagree with you.
Walls are good. But a person must lower his guard around his/her trusted ones. Or family. Or whatever. *Add that little quote about the shoe and whatnot*
I've known what it feels like building walls and jailing myself in. But I've also known how it feels when someone breaks that wall and sets you free.

Tangled Tofu said...

If the shoe fits, feel free to wear it?
Haha. Not entirely sure whether that quote applies here.
But yeah, I'll tally with you here. Mainly because I've been through and felt the same thing you have. It does feel liberating when someone shreads your guard apart and transforms you into a better person. A happier person. A person you'd never thought you'd be.

Raj Chawla said...

Yep. Precisely that on both accounts.
At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines… that are way too dangerous to cross. So that's on you.

snehalsblogofeverything said...

The title is very catchy. As difficult as it is to strip emotionally, it is important as well. I love the way you have put forth a different perspective to being guarded. Being a person with a thousand walls myself, this post touched me and made me sit back and think about the happiness I have missed just because of fear. Much love, tofu <3

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