Sunday, 4 November 2012

Hey Jesus, call me maybe?



Carter Road.

So, because I'm a passive-aggressive misanthrope I like spending time in solitary confinement, encapsulating everything that is fundamentally wrong with our society and wallowing in my own  mad world of childish hyperbole.

The other day, I sat at the promenade drinking in the faces of the many different people who passed by. Beautiful adolescent girls, old couples taking brisk evening walks together. Boys with their bikes, collectively checking out each girl that sashayed by and occasionally, ever so subtly, whistling at a few.

Pigeons flocked all around me making loud flapping noises, probably noticing the bag of bread scraps in my hand. I scattered a few crumbs around looking vacantly at the plump birds. I looked at the massive sun drowning in the deep over the horizon, and tried to think of something profound and philosophical, but couldn’t. I felt deflated. So I just sat still. The tranquility of the spot seeped gently into me. I sat still, afraid to move, lest the feeling escaped.

After what seemed like forever, I decided to get up. It was getting dark and my rear hurt from sitting in the same position for so long. I got up, turned around, and suddenly ran into a man, dropping the packet of bread crumbs in the process.

When I was a kid, I was sent to church every Sunday. In Sunday school there, the teachers would read us stories about Jesus from the bible. 
This man was exactly as I had imagined how Jesus might have looked like, with beautifully shaped eyes, the colour of wild honey and flowing, albeit short brown hair softly blowing with the sea breeze. I looked intently at him, unexpectedly bereft of speech. He removed the earphones plugging his ears, smiled understandingly and touched my hair with his long graceful fingers.

"Is everything all right? Can I lend you a hand?” He asked apologetically, as he surveyed the damage.

Suddenly every little detail of the moment became vivid-
The indifferent and loud crowd around us, the cool smoggy air that indicated the oncoming winter, the smell of the briny sea, the piquant smell of the spices from the nearby makeshift chaat stalls that had been set up post sun-down.

“Gosh. I… um, no thank you. I’m good.”

“You sure?” He grinned as he confirmed.

“Yes.” I smiled back shakily.

“Well, we’ve created quite a mess.”

“Yeah, but I just saw cleaner sweeping the area a while ago. She’ll return.”

“Yeah, but I just saw cleaner sweeping the area a while ago. She’ll return.”
“Okay then, I better leave. See you around. And sorry again.” He smiled and started to walk away.
I looked down at the scattered crumbs, hoping to find something he had accidentally left behind so that I could call out to him and resume conversation.
Nada.
I looked ahead but Jesus was swallowed by the darkness and people around.

SO YEAH. I WROTE THIS ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS BLOG ENTRY TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I'M A SLOW IDIOT BECAUSE I LET MY POTENTIAL SOULMATE SLIP RIGHT THROUGH MY FINGERS. UGH.

7 comments:

That Kapoor boy. said...

Oh hey. I'm your Jesus guy.
Jeez. We found love in a hopeless place, didn't we?

Sulky Tofu Girl said...

Hello Jesus guy,
Hahahahaha, we sure did, we sure did. x)

Talitha said...

Loved it.The pagalpan,the pointlessness and the poignancy...Love you girl!
Keep posting!

Sulky Tofu Girl said...

Haha, thank you love! :*

Rahil Ansari said...

Hahahaha this reminded me of this hilarious incident that happened to me about a year ago. I met a girl at Andheri station, she accidentally got into the general comartment and sat next to me. I asked her if she wanted to trade seats with me because I was sitting by the window. She declined, but we started talking. One thing led to another and eventually we exchanged numbers,
BUT SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND. *@+/#

Sulky Tofu Girl said...

Hahahahahaha, aww. Poor you.
I feel for you, Rahil. I really do. :P
Incidents like these just make me feel like my life is one big "Oh ok, that's fine too I guess. no really it's fine, don't worry about it"
*Sigh*

Raj Chawla said...

Hahaha, so you're funny too. Nice. :D
Its not often that you get aquainted with aan amazing writer who has a sense of humour

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